It will happen. You'll be mid-session, running a drill that's gone well, and a player will walk off the pitch in tears. Or sit down on the grass and refuse to continue. Or burst into tears after a mistake.

How you respond in the next two minutes determines whether that child comes back next week — or whether this is the moment they stop loving football.

First: Don't Dismiss It

The worst response I've seen from coaches — and I've been guilty of it early in my coaching — is the brisk "shake it off, get back in." It ends the emotional moment for the coach but not for the child. They return to the session carrying the upset and the shame of being told their feelings don't matter.

The child isn't weak. They're experiencing something real. The question is what, and whether you can help.

Create Space Without Making It a Scene

Walk over calmly. Don't call across the pitch. Kneel down so you're at their eye level if possible — physical equality matters here. The rest of the group should keep playing. Having 12 players watching a crying child amplifies everything.

Three simple questions, in order: "Are you hurt?" "Do you want some water and a minute?" "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

The third question is optional — some children want to explain, some don't. Don't push it.

Understanding the Most Common Causes

Performance frustration: Usually affects U10–U13 players who care about football. A missed shot, a mistake that led to a goal, perceived failure in front of peers. This is actually a sign of investment — the child cares. Acknowledge the frustration, normalise the mistake.

Social dynamics: A comment from a teammate, perceived exclusion from a drill, an argument during the game. These need a conversation, not just a return to training.

Tiredness or hunger: More common than coaches expect, especially with younger players in early evening sessions. Offer water. Ask if they had something to eat before training.

Accumulated stress from outside football: School, family, friendship. The training pitch is sometimes where a child's general emotional state surfaces because it's a relatively safe environment. The football was just the trigger.

The Return to the Session

When the child is ready, give them an easy re-entry. Put them straight into a position where they're likely to have early success — don't put a player who just cried about a missed shot in goal immediately. Let them come back through a moment of competence.

At the end of the session: a quiet word. Not a debrief, not a lecture on resilience. Something simple: "Good to have you back. Good session."

When It's a Pattern

One episode of tears is normal. A pattern — a child who cries most sessions — needs a different response. Have a private conversation with the parent or carer. Not to flag a problem, but to share what you're seeing and ask whether anything is going on that you should know about. A collaborative approach almost always works better than going it alone.